


You are my desire, my craze, my obsession

by jennifer_24



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Addiction, Angst, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is a Little Shit, Bang Chan is a Mess, Bottom Hwang Hyunjin, Cheating, Explicit Sexual Content, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin Needs a Hug, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Possessive Behavior, Sad Hwang Hyunjin, Seo Changbin is a Little Shit, Top Bang Chan, bang chan is bad, but he is not that young, chan loves alcohol, kind of twink hyunjin, once the story progresses then it gets dark, save hyunjin, shit gets really dark, sorry hyunjin, the beginning is not that heavy tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:42:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennifer_24/pseuds/jennifer_24
Summary: A 21-year-old man named Hwang hyunjin and his 24-year-old soon-to-be husband Bang chan used to be the happiest couple one could ever imagine, sharing sweet hugs and shy kisses, both were very respectful and kind human beings. But, what might have happened..?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 24





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone so this is my first ever fanfiction, so please excuse me if I make any mistakes as I am new to this.  
> This story gets very dark as the chapters evolve so pls do read the tags, if there are any suggestions you can always comment below, I would love your support, and I hope you enjoy reading <3

I love you, you are... were my everything, but it seems like I am not enough for you, my hugs and my kisses weren't enough for you.  
All the time when I thought you were the right man for me, I guess I was wrong. I was wrong all along... 

.

.

.

.

.

No, I love you too, you don't understand this was all a misunderstanding, you are the only one in my life hyunjin, you are my sunshine and everything I exist for.  
I wake up to see your beautiful face next to mine, every time you smile you brighten up my day, you and only you are mine Hwang Hyunjin and nothing can take you away from me. 

I know I made a mistake, you would never forgive me, but that wasn't my intention, only if you ever gave me time to explain... I miss you, baby, I miss your hugs and all the time we used to spend together, why did you do this to me even after we had been through so much together, then WHY!? 

I will make you mine again even if I had to break the rules, I can do anything for you. Your beauty has blinded me hyunjin I can't help it, I am hypnotized by you and now you would have to take charge of the damage you have made. 

I will get you back... somehow, but I will. Even if you scream and cry nothing is going to stop me now and we will start all over again love. 

You are my desire, my obsession, my drug, you are my craze hyunjin...

\- 

A 21-year-old man named Hwang hyunjin and his 24-year-old soon-to-be husband Bang chan used to be the happiest couple one could ever imagine, sharing sweet hugs and shy kisses, both were very respectful and kind human beings. Soon it all came to a stop, due to a misunderstanding between the couple, one of them ended up leaving the other in despair and regret. But, the other one wasn't just ready to let go of the love of his life.... 5 years passed and he couldn't find the other anywhere. 

-

One night he was hella drunk stuck on a chair in a bar regretting over his past life decisions, in his drunk state his eyes caught the face of a man similar to his ex-lover, but instead of brown and short hair, the man had long blonde hair, he looked skinny and beautiful as ever. That night he knew he had to make up their love again at any cost, but... how?


	2. who is he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....the corner of his eyes caught a sight of someone, but not just any ordinary person chan thought. It was someone he knew, someone who he missed dearly and the reason why he became addicted to something known as.... alcohol...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, thanks for waiting here is the first chapter woohoo!

_Ugh, I feel so dizzy._

___

“Hey, umm...waiter, can you pass me another shot of vodka,”

“But sir your six shots are already over, you would have to pay more to get the service of extra drinks.”

“yea-ok whatever, here take this money and bring me my drink, and I need it fast”

“sure sir… here are your vodka shots, with three finely chopped and garnished lemons and some salt, enjoy your drink,”

Ignoring the waiter, he drank all the shots straight away not spending extra time on having a taste of the lemons neatly placed on the simple porcelain plate, too fed up with life and stressed from work that he did not care about being drunk, either way, he could call up changbin and he could provide him a free ride back home.

He twisted his body on his high-chair that was placed around the edge of the bar, taking a glimpse of his surroundings, his eyes taking a note of all different kinds of people.

There was a couple in a corner making out, too drunk to care about anyone watching them. Multiple people were tipsy and dancing like crazy, quite a few were just sitting and chatting with their friends. And the others, like him, just came here to overcome their stress and get a daily dose of _alcohol._

Almost all individuals like him were spotted to be alone, either trying to move on from a break-up or just simply hooking up AKA having a one-night stand with someone, to forget the tensions and stress oozing in their bodies.

Alcohol was really helpful in these kinds of situations, it really helped with the healing and calmed your mind at times, but not on all occasions, it had its good days and bad days.

_

Staring at the crowd chan licked one of the lemon slices that was provided to him, he couldn’t just stare at them tidily placed on the glass table, untouched, so he just decided to have a taste. It was very salty and gave a slight pinch to his tongue but the aftermath was worth it, the taste blended with his saliva and gave a sort of relaxing feeling as the juice made its way down his throat.

Relaxing on the stool, he checked the time on his watch, it was a Grant Chronograph Light Brown Leather watch gifted to him by his...well... technical, _ex-lover._ It was around 11:30 at night, the 12 shots of vodka had started affecting his body making his vision blurry, he had to call changbin before he let the booze alcohol take control of him. 

Simultaneously he twisted his chair back to the bar counter to pick up his phone, however, the corner of his eyes caught sight of someone, but not just any ordinary person chan thought. It was someone he knew, someone who he missed dearly and the reason why he became addicted to something known as _alcohol._

_

His vision was technically blurry he couldn’t see anything properly, but he knew, he knew it was _him_ , a person named _Hwang Hyunjin._

He rubbed his eyes desperately… _was he seeing right?_ the rough contact of his fingers rubbing through his chocolate brown coloured eyes. He concentrated on that particular human settled right across from him.

He noticed how the man was settled down on someone’s lap, with one of his hands wrapped around another slightly older man’s neck. The club was sort of crowded, due to that a lot of people kept blocking his vision from being able to concentrate on the two people who were sitting on the purplish-velvet couch placed right on the edge of the club. But his mind was particularly towards one of the men, the one who was settled on the older-looking man’s lap.

All sorts of different individuals came into this club, as it was pretty well known to people with wealth, but most of them, as from what chan could think, were bimbos with their sugar daddies.

Cause that is exactly how those two men looked together on that velvet sofa, almost 20 to 30 feet away from where chan was sitting, alone In a corner with an empty glass of vodka in one hand and his phone in the other.

He noticed carefully that the man who was settled on some stranger's lap looked pretty young to be called a man, he looked like a boy, but as chan had a feeling that the particular man was no other but hyunjin, who would certainly be 27 by now. The last time chan saw the guy was 5 years ago when the lad was 22.

The man below the ‘most-likely-hyunjin’ looked older, just about 8-10 years older than _hyunjin_ himself. Both men looked very different than one another. One was buff and strongly built with a sharp jawline and a low fade haircut with a neatly slick back, and he had little to no facial hair.

The other was skinny, chan would call him a twink but only because the dude wasn’t that young from his perspective, he was technically hyunjin in chan’s eyes, hyunjin who is 27 and a technical _‘man’_. He had shoulder-length blonde hair, which confused chan as the only thing, unlike hyunjin, was that he always had short brown hair in the past, it made him think that he might have changed it, _who knows._

Chan clearly knew every single detail about hyunjin. He couldn’t have just mistaken a man for being his lover, _hyunjin was his everything_ , so it would make sense if chan had thought that someone, in particular, was his long-lost love.

From what chan could make out from his place is that the male kind of had a gentle and delicate face. He concluded that it was like looking at a beauty with the beast.

The only thing was that if the dude, let’s say was actually hyunjin, it kind of made chan feel downhearted, cause how can hyunjin move on so quickly when chan still didn't. The lad was also the reason why he became a frequent visitor in this bar since the _tragic incident_.

He thought of going closer to the pair to observe them better, not wanting to be known as a creep or stalker he decided to take a place close to them but not that close that it would make them uncomfortable.

His mind kept asking him, is this actually hyunjin, the hyunjin who he used to love with all his heart, and his love is still present, _till this date…. ??_


	3. hopeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> … Chan had never thought they would not meet again, but he knew he wasn’t the one to blame for this….. it was Hyunjin.

This bar surely reminds chan a lot about his past fate, cause this is the exact place where he lost someone so near and dear to him. As he would like to say, it wasn’t his fault it was a misunderstanding but _the person_ just couldn’t understand, without giving him any time to explain _they_ went away from him, far far away… chan had never thought they would not meet each other again, but he knew he wasn’t the one to blame for this….. _it was hyunjin._

_

Chan went closer to the two people, taking a seat on the sofa almost a couple of meters away from them. His eyes were focused on one of the men, his gut instinct strictly telling him, that the man was indeed his long-lost love _hyunjin,_ it could have surely been someone similar to hyunjin but chan was sure that it was certainly _his hyunjin._

The love of his life who left him exactly five years ago, every time he comes to get a drink here it reminds of the incident that happened in this same bar.

The supposed man who chan thought was hyunjin was too lost in his own world with the other guy, giggling and smiling like chan had remembered what he did with him. Seeing him showing the same kind of affection towards another man-made the blood boil inside of his body, it made his heartbreak into many tiny pieces.

_Why, why, WHY!?_

If he would ever meet that man one on one he would beat the shit out of him and never let him get close to hyunjin...

for Chan, hyunjin was a small vulnerable flower who he had to protect at any cost, save him from the world and keep him all to himself.

If chan had the option he would walk up to the “fake” couple and divide them both apart. He would probably kill that man for even eyeing hyunjin like he was some delicious food item, and once he felt satisfied he would take hyunjin to his house and keep him locked up so that only he can have him, _only he is the one made for hyunjin._

Chan never knew how this sudden possessiveness and obsession started when it came to their relationship, it just did.. somehow, seeing the younger's sweet smiles, and beautiful starry eyes, made chan melt and feel some kind of control take over him, and shortly he started feeling jealousy and overprotectiveness take over his body and mind.

_

He noticed carefully how the two men sitting two tables away from chan were kissing, chan had a clear view of everything, only if he could hear what was happening, but no, it would blow his cover.

It kind of made him feel like an undercover spy on a mission, or some drunk creep eyeing a couple, so he did not take the initiative of walking closer to the two males.

Their kiss was sloppy and looked kind of gross, but that’s how everyone kisses in a crowded club filled with drunk, tipsy people.

he did not plan on hooking up with someone to get his mind of this situation, the current scenario had already occupied his mind too much to care about anything else. He got up from his place, thinking of walking away somewhere else when a sudden pain in his head made him sit back down on the sofa.

He realized that he was feeling kind of dizzy and exhausted, maybe because of the excessive amount of alcohol, or by seeing hyunjin after so long, his head was just hurting a lot and he didn’t have the mental and physical energy left to call out for a taxi.

So he just sat there, looking at hyunjin and the other man again, but he was for sure certain that the person was hyunjin. The face and looks were more matured and sharp from before but it still had the soft angelic look to it when chan had last seen hyunjin.

He just looked more like what you would call a cheap prostitute, sitting on someone's lap like that, and that is not how chan remembered him being like. Hyunjin wasn’t much of a party person he preferred being in his house and reading a book on a Saturday night rather than going out with chan and passing out drunk. That just wasn’t his forte.

But here he was just a couple of feet away from chan on a random stranger's lap that chan might have never seen or met before.

He threw his head back on the velvet canapé huffing loudly, he was tired of too many thoughts taking control of his mind plus the vodka was too much, he took his phone out from the left pocket of his black trousers and dialed changbins number.

Chan had met changbin 2 years ago at a business party, they became pretty good friends since. Changbin was kind of similar to chan himself, and both men had found a nice bond with each other.

Chan hadn’t told changbin about hyunjin yet, he thought it was better not to because it wouldn’t really help him so there was no point.

As from what chan knew, changbin worked as a photographer in a pretty successful marketing agency and earned a good amount of money every month. Even tho chan had better pay, it was still satisfactory. Chan himself worked as an employee in a retail company, they sold goods all over Korea and were widely known in the country.

_

…

“come on, pick up the call chang..!”

The phone had been ringing for an eternity, chan was desperately waiting for changbin to pick up the call, he had already tried three times but there was no response from the other side. On his fourth try, he hears a grumpy voice on the other line,

“what do you want chan!? I was sleeping,”

Chan felt bad but he was too selfish at that moment to regret waking changbin up from his deep slumber. In reality, he was the one in more distress so it was fair for him to cause changbin some trouble for his own benefit, as they were always there for each other when required.

“ah, sorry but can you pick me up, I am having a severe headache and I am too exhausted to get to my car..”

He might sound very hopeless and miserable to changbin right now, but it wasn’t his fault he was in such a situation.

“ugh, ok wait, I am coming, where you at…? the usual?”

“haha yea, I am in the club we both go to usually, you will find me near the bar,”

“ok, ok I will be there in 5..”

_

Meanwhile, hyunjin was still spending time with his, what chan would call, a typical ‘sugar daddy’. random giggles and flirty comments were being passed on to one another after every sip of the icy champagne that had only been served to the VIP.

Of course, people were jealous of them, why wouldn’t they be, especially of the man who had hyunjin comfortably settled on his lap, though something about them didn’t make them look like a normal couple, rather something people would say, _a random bimbo with their sugar daddy_ , it might be because of the fact they look like they are age apart from one another.

_‘A middle-aged man with a highschool graduate’_ if truth be told, they both weren't that old or young, they might have just looked so in front of people’s judgemental eyes.

“I had a great time today, thankyou sungho,”

Hyunjin giggled wrapping both of his arms around the other male's neck, his dreamy eyes staring straight into someone who goes by the name Sungho's bloodshot dark brown eyes.

“I am glad to hear that _beautiful_ , we should head off now, don’t wanna be late for work tomorrow right?”

Sungho gently placed his hand on hyunjin’s left cheek and caressed it, the other male placed his face on his chest and nodded slowly.

_

Soon, the two had left the club and headed off to someplace chan had no idea about, he was just sitting on the couch and patiently waiting for changbin to get him out of here.

He wished he had stopped the couple then and there and faced hyunjin and confronted him. Or might have just asked for his number, or gave him a hug telling him how much he missed him adding that this strange man is no good for him.

But no, chan just witnessed the two walk out of the club without caring to notice his presence, he didn’t make any effort to start up a conversation, just sat and watched the two, like a freaking idiot, that he is.

Chan was about to doze off, the amount of exhaustion and stress was too much for him when suddenly he felt himself jolt forward, about to hit his head on the glass table that was placed in front of him, he felt himself pause and hauled up by another body’s presence.

It was changbin, he wrapped chan's arm around his shoulder, and let him relax his body wait on him, he continued to walk outside dragging chan's limp body along with a firm hand placed on the male's torso.

Chan was in a state where he was soon going to pass out, not conscious enough of his surroundings, letting changbin do all the work.

“ugh, changbin…”

Chan mumbled random words as he was settled down on the backseat of changbin’s car. Changbin not sparing him another glance as he swiftly made his way to the driver’s seat and drove towards his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2!!  
> my apologies for taking so long to update, but here it is.   
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!!!
> 
> ~jennifer <3


End file.
